Emma’s story: Feeling like a failure

When I was serving in the military I found it really hard to fit in. I had originally joined as I felt that my family expected me to follow their careers. My father had been a soldier and my grandfather a pilot. Mum was a nurse.

Half way through my training I injured my right knee but I somehow managed to make it through through basic training.

Because my knee never fully healed, I thought I was holding everyone else back. That I was a waste of space, a liability to my unit. Though I wanted to stay I agreed to a medical discharge with the help of a Doctor. The pain and shame I felt for having failed my family was too much, I couldn’t face them and I had no hope for my future.

The week after I left I decided to take all the strong pain relief pills my Doctor had given me in one go to just, end it all, and I took all the pills.

Luckily, Mum had been really worried about me and concerned and so she came and checked on me. She found me unconscious and she called an ambulance. God, I felt so guilty.

I stayed in hospital for a while and now I’m getting some good counselling and I’m starting to understand that it wasn’t my fault, and that I haven’t let anyone down.

Thank god for my Mum. I understand now that my family loves me no matter what I decide to do. Things are looking up and I’ve decided to study something new at Uni.

NOTE: This is a fictional case study using paid actors